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By George - Elvis McGonagall

Once more unto the breach, dear Morris Dancers
    once more
Jingle your bells, thwack sticks, raise flagons
Cry “God for Harry and Saint George!”
Gallant knight and slayer of dragons
Patron saint of merry England –
And Georgia, and Catalonia, and Portugal, Beirut, Moscow 
Istanbul, Germany, Greece
Archers, farmers, boy scouts, butchers and sufferers of
   syphilis
Multicultural icon with sword and codpiece
On, on you bullet-headed saxon sons
Fly flags from white van and cab
But remember stout yeomen, your champion was Turkish
So – get drunk and have a kebab

Poem originally commissioned by the BBC 

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